Address Lieut. J.D.W. H.
Royal Engineers
No 4 Base Depot
B.E.F. France
My dearest Girl
We are still at the base awaiting orders and pretty sick of it we are too. There is nothing to do except go into the Town & spend money in restaurants etc & that is neither profitable nor to my mind very interesting. The mess is about the worst run I have ever had the misfortune to be in and the waiter soldiers a dirty slack, slovenly & lazy crew. No baths obtainable except in the Town & as that is four miles away one is not inclined to make the journey every day. We are all impatiently awaiting our postings. I was wrong about the 7/- a day allowances; it is 4/11 only, however I shall not require more than half of that at the outside once I am in the firing line.
I am wondering if you have moved to the house yet and whether you have managed everything properly. I mean without trouble.
I hunger greatly to see you & the babes now that I know that I am not able to do so, but still the time will soon pass & I shall get leave.
I am anxiously hoping to hear from you soon, & if your letter gets here after I am gone, it will be forwarded to me. Has Erskine been to see you yet?
Yesterday we had bomb throwing in earnest & its a curious feeling the first time to hear the fuse fizzing away in ones hand, while you count 1,2,3, & then throw it into the other trench; mine went right in and then exploded with a terrible bang. One poor young Officer had his hand blown off 4 days ago for not being quick enough. In the afternoon we had revolver practise & I must say my revolver is a beauty; I got a lot of bulls & all my other shots except two were only just outside. I have improved since the Cuevas days when you used to do better than I did. The Adjutant here is a very decent chap, a Scotsman & he has the decency to give me all the command jobs leaving the censoring and the small duties to the youngsters. There is a man here from Bombay whom so far I like very much; he and Winby are the only ones of more or less of my own age. Poor Winby's nerves are rapidly wearing out under this monotony.
I suppose you know where the Base Hdqrs are, as I believe I am not supposed to tell you, though why I am unable to imagine. One of those extraordinary unreasoning things they continue to do in the Army long after the original reason for them has disappeared. Mrs W will tell you the name of this Town.
Do not bother to send me those breeches yet; I think they will be too thin in any case during the winter.
I hope my dear you will be quite cheerful & happy, though I am afraid the economies you will have to practise will not improve matters; if the promotion does not come soon, of course Ted will continue the £10 allowance although I wish that one did not have to take it.
I am told they paid the passages of a large number of Officers from abroad, & I feel sorry I did not stipulate for something of the kind. Another £150 in hand would have been useful. Also I might have arranged a Captaincy through Sir Reg Tower if only I had had patience and not come over as we did. I am afraid I shall never be able to become business like. Well goodbye dearest one with all my love to you and the sweet babes, whom kiss for me,
Yours affectionately
William
56th Field Coy R.E.
B.E.F. France
7th. Dec 1915
My dearest Barbara
Now I am at last in a small corner of Belgium near Ypres, if you look in the map you will see just behind Ypres a small place called Dickebusch; well I am within a few hundred yards of there. I had a beastly journey by train from Rouen 24 hours in a compartment without washing or other conveniences, and only a sandwich & a couple of eggs to eat the whole time; I was lucky enough to get a compartment to myself, while others shared one with two or three, so I was able to sleep at all events.
I had to ride on an old lame horse to this camp 6 1/2 miles, pitch dark and raining hard; my servant lost me in the dark & the wind prevented his hearing my shouts or I his and so I, knowing the way of horses gave my beast his head & and he brought me here straight across country and over the most terrible muddy fields. Oh my dear, you should see the mud, an ocean everywhere as far as the eye can see & and I stepped off the little plank path & was up to my knees at once. All night the big guns kept booming and this morning they have been going the whole time without stopping; they tell me that the camp is occasionally shelled; my predecessor has gone home with his leg splintered by a shell and so also has the O.C. A new O.C. joined this morning; he seems a decent sort though I only saw him for a quarter of an hour, his name is Francis, a Captain, the senior sub is a bit of a boy of about twenty & I believe the next is about the same age. I am the most junior except two; however it is all in the days work and probably my chance will come all the sooner by way of contrast. The Captain is the only regular officer. I go up to the trenches either tonight or tomorrow. It was great sport this morning watching our shells all bursting round a German aeroplane which came over our lines, it cleared for all it was worth.. The trenches they tell me are nothing but ditches of mud & we have to use gum boots which are served out to us; the dug outs however are more comfortable than this camp. It is perfectly beastly here, a tin shed with a thousand draughts & mud and dirt all over everything; the Mess God save the mark is a room in the same hut; the sleeping compartments are about the size of a train one & two of us share each, though it generally happens that one of the two is in the trenches at a time. Our guns are behind us and the continual roar & concussion shakes this hut like an earthquake. The horses are all round us, poor beasts, standing in mud over their fetlocks. I have been served out with two gas masks and two field dressings, one for shell wounds one for bullet & so am fully equipped for the fray. If I get away from here I shall not come back if I can possibly help it; at 38 1/2 years of age I think I can be sent to something cleaner & safer. I saw bits of boys all along the line of communications doing Railway Transport Officer jobs and if I were they I should be ashamed of myself, station masters they are & as safe as houses & living cleanly & comfortably. The Doctor in the Mess is a man about my own age , an Edinburgh man & he seems a good sort, he knows your cousin old Dr Peddie, so I shall have somebody to talk with occasionally, though the O.C. may turn out to be a congenial sort.
I am eagerly looking out for your first letter, which I dare say is following me up from Rouen. I hope you have been able to manage all right. I shall send you a 5/- cheque for Xmas & ask Cox to see it through. I hope Ted will continue the £10, as otherwise I don`t know what I shall do. I must write to B.A. & see what money I have in the London & R.P. Bank as I ought to have something there with the rents coming in from Asuncion. I was a fool to accept this instead of holding out & looking for something better; however three months & then leave & then at home I will arrange something, no more of this worrying as to what would happen to you if I got killed; it is on my mind the whole time. Kiss my dear babes & the same to you my dear wife.
Your loving husband
William
P.S. Do not send this letter to my mother or R & G.
56th Field Coy R.E.
3rd Division
B.E.F.
9th. Dec 1915
.
My dearest Barbara
I am somewhat in the doleful dumps tonight; the rain it raineth every day and the mud gets deeper & deeper, and worst of all no letter from you or anybody yet.
I know you have written, and so I have written off to the Base Post Office asking them to see if there are any letters for me addressed only B.E.F. without the number of the Field Coy.
The gunfire was terrible all yesterday & last night & today the Huns replied; another officer and I were up within a mile or so of the trenches when high explosive shells began to come over & land about us, the nearest being about 400 yards off; some then landed in a village where we had been 5 minutes before looking for an old stove in the ruined houses. I thought my number was up, but we cut up through some woods and got away; unfortunately we have a large gun battery concealed near our camp & they shell the Huns constantly, & once this place is discovered this camp will be shelled by the enemy. I hope it does not occur one cold rainy night. I go up to the trenches next Tuesday for seven days to live in a dug-outs, pray for me then; in the meantime I am doing odd jobs about the camp looking after the horse lines etc.
The new O.C. seems a very nice fellow & constantly treats me with every consideration; he is 35 & I think is appalled at my age; yet I could run him, jump him, or ride him to a standstill, as he has been in W. Africa poor chap & is shaky with malaria.
I hope this will reach you in time for Dickie's Birthday; wish him many happy returns of the day for me and kiss him also & also believe that I am kissing you my dear & remembering that day when I got your telegram saying that you were well & that he had been born.
Did you see poor Hughes, the man who was chosen instead of myself for France & went off first, has been killed; his poor widow of a fortnight. This is one of the Regular Field Coys & has a very good reputation, so I ought to be honoured, except that I know these things are pure chance, & also army reputations are earned by all sorts of things. Well goodbye old girl much love to you & to my sweet babes
your loving husband
William
56th Field Coy R.E.
3rd Division
B.E.F.France
13th Dec 1915
My dear Barbara
I have at last received one letter from you addressed to the General Base Depot, written on the 8th and I was very cheered to get it; I also received one from my mother on the same day. Oh! my dear I don't want you to spend one penny in sending me things; I know you have a hard job to make ends meet & that is one of the worst things I have to bear. If everything was right in that way, I should be quite happy; however we'll see whether things can be improved once I come home on leave. I think three months in the trenches is as much as can be expected from a man of my age & with my responsibilities, and I shall do my best to get something more suitable. As regards the promotion I am inclined to think it was mere "gas", whether on the part of the High Authorities or somebody else, I am not sure. In any case it does not matter, and if it does not come I shall be obliged to seek relief, as I have spent more out of my own pocket to get home & join than they pay me in the whole year. However I do not grumble, but I should be happier if I had work to do in which my age and experience would be useful instead of this routine done equally well by boys of 20, in fact I have two seniors of 20; isn't it absurd; youths whom I should be "fathering" out there. Well enough of that.
Tomorrow I go with my section to the dug-out (bomb proof? shelter) about two miles behind the firing line and we work nightly in the firing line trenches; I stay there seven days and then return to the camp here. We have had four of our men killed this week, three one day and one the next by shells coming plump on top of their dug-outs,(the officer had just left). We buried the poor fellows by night, it was terrible.
I then went on to the front trenches with the officer (who had escaped) as his nerve was a bit shaken & spent a couple of hours there (about midnight) and the sniping was pretty bad. It was all interesting however.
We have had a lot of shelling round us and the O.C. & I just missed a field by about 50 yards when 6 or 7 huge krupps came down. My word I felt shaky for a bit.
Well goodbye dear old girl much love to you & the dear babes; kiss them for me.
I enclose the cheque
Your loving husband
William
56th Field Coy R.E.
3rd Division
16th Dec 1915
My dear Barbara
I have just received your long letter of the 4th re-addressed from Rouen. Well here I am up in the trenches this week about a mile & a half or two miles behind the fire trench, and am living in a little dug-out on the bank of a canal. It is filthy dirty, mud & slush everywhere & cold as the Arctic with green stagnant water 3 yards in front, and every morning & evening we are treated to half an hour of Hun "Hate". Every kind of shell whizzes over & bursts just over the other side, but if ever one heavy shell by some chance comes on the dug-out & I am in it, well, my dear you will be a widow, & this happened in the other section's dug-outs the other day and only fragments of the men inside could be recovered. But it is not probable as the shell would have to be a high trajectory one & it would have to be good shooting. Besides it is at some gun emplacements a hundred yards ahead that they are aiming at & not us. We can have no fires during the day & no men are allowed to shew themselves. From here we crawl out every morning through a tunnel and go to work in the communication trenches which are fairly safe if one keeps one's head down; at night time we go up to the fire trenches and work there. Last night I had a hundred men working with me joining up two trenches; we had two bombing parties out in front to cover us in case of an attack and a listening post still further out. The Huns evidently suspected something as they were sending a large number of flares up over us but we all kept quite still each time & nothing happened. It was most exciting, but oh! so cold. I was up to my knees in mud & water, (I had waders on) & there we were slipping & sliding the whole time. I could see the Bosche parapets & every now & again the flash of their rifles, they were only 200 or 300 yards away.
I went in to our of our sniping out-posts & looked through a telescope at a couple of Huns who were standing up behind their trenches near some trees and then our sniper pulled the trigger & one of them fell like a log.
I am going out again tonight but intend coming home sooner than yesterday, as I was very done up this morning when I arrived back. I shall be glad of any socks you can send me.
I am so sorry you have had to go to that Fund, but it cannot be helped as it is certain that the pay they give me is not sufficient, & I could be earning 4 times as much, were I not serving. The worst of everything here is the damp & cold & dirt; no hot water available for want of fuel & because fires are dangerous or at least smoke is. The food is pretty scrappy & thrown at one. However that's nothing, but it really annoys me to think of those two boys of 20 sitting safely & in comparative comfort at the billets far back, because they are senior & a man for my age out here. Never mind, three months will soon pass & wild horses won't bring me back from England to this.
I'll not continue serving with these Regulars who simply exploit us & get all the safe jobs for themselves; the more I see of them the more they excite my contempt, stupid,
ignorant, & with enormous conceit of themselves and oh! so childish & foolish.
It is most amusing what you tell me about Mrs. W & Mrs. C quarreling like dogs over a bone for a few pounds & yet looking down on honest tradesmen who would scorn to do such things. I think we do things better in Paraguay where we don't talk about money matters between friends. How I long for the warmth of Paraguay, my feet are blocks of ice.
I am so glad you are happy in the new house and that the babes are well & cheery. Ruth need not console herself with the hope that I am at "the back of the war", I wish I were. There is not an hour of the day or night that shells or rifle bullets do not fly over our heads, & I am very much at the front.
I like my O.C. he is a good chap & more intelligent & more a man of the world than the usual ornamental Regular one meets here; but he has been on the W, coast of Africa & alas has the usual infirmity of men who have been there long. I am afraid he will not last long; the cold hurts him.
Well goodbye my dear with love to you & the children
Yours aff'y
William
19th Dec 1915 56th Field Company
R.E.
3rd Division
B.E.F.
My dear Barbara
I received your letter & the socks last evening. My dear you are an artist at knitting, they are the very nicest I have and I shall be glad of as many more as you can make. I live in rubber waders with two pairs of socks and the outer one gets wet every time I go out. I am an expert in mudlarking now. Today is the first fine day we have had for a week and we should have enjoyed it thoroughly, had not the Huns started an attack this morning at about 3.30, and the bombardment all day has been something indescribable; can you imagine one of those Paraguay thunderstorms is ten times magnified and continued without ceasing for 5 hours.
The whole of the horizon and it is only a couple of miles away, was one blaze of fire till dawn; the Huns were utterly repulsed, then they sent over a shower of heavy shells & tear shells; these latter made our eyes smart for a long time. Our dug-outs are under a high bank of a canal and we could see the whole thing without much danger. This afternoon we again gave them an hours "strafing" with our heavy artillery. I have had two interesting night jobs this week, making a connecting link between two fire trenches that were not joined together; a Hun sniper was stalking us and we caught sight of him and sent a couple of men to stalk him, but he cleared back to his trench like greased lightning; we were in the open so we placed two bombing parties in front of us and a "listening post" still further ahead in a hollow. My work each day is to inspect the communication trench & work on any repairs; the fire trenches are kept in order by the men manning them unless the work is a new work or something difficult when we do it.
I have told you, my dear, that I do not wish you to send me anything; you require all the little money we have for yourself & the children. I have had a notice from the L & R P bank & and think I have over a hundred dollars there; this may come in useful when I go back so perhaps I had better not draw it unless I am forced to. I had a very nice letter from Morgan & he told me he had let the house, but only when Wiley agreed to keep it on; he also said Moore was leaving to join & that he himself hoped to be able to do the same.
I hope you have written to Mrs Girdlestone, have you heard again from Mrs Griffith?
I am so glad to hear about Ruth being industrious, I wonder from whom she gets it, not from me I am afraid; and so Dicky thinks himself a big fellow now that he is six; how I long to see you all.
This is an extraordinary war; here we are in the midst of daily battles & yet the transport comes up with letters and parcels from England; tonight it is all delayed owing to the road having been shelled, and I believe a few casualties have taken place. This morning one of our men in the dug-out on the other side of the canal bank had his arm broken & ripped by a splinter from a shell, not thirty yards from us.
I received Erskine's note & was glad to hear he was getting away from that Coy which he did not like.
I have Territorial officers messing with me; they are in charge of a working party attached to us; they are a peculiar crowd but not bad fellows at all; Lancashire business men with the county accent, though one, a Jew, was at Harrow and Cambridge. In a way I am sorry to think that Mrs W has not turned all as we thought her, but then this stupid military caste spoils everybody connected with it; it is the same with 90% of the men; perfectly good fellows originally develop into conceited asses, frightened of their superiors and arrogant to their inferiors, their conversation extremely limited & their ignorance something extraordinary.
It is possible that this war will do a lot of good; it has shewn the whole of manhood of England how easily they can do anything the soldier man can do with all his training & in most cases do it a good deal better; the most glaring cases are the Artillery & the Engineers, both having been considered "scientific"; whereas their science is that of a junior student. Everything is so cut and dried for them that they seem unable to go outside of the rules, and they have no idea of organisation. Conscription must come in England for the young generation, and Pat will have to do it in the Argentine; the idea makes me laugh. Dear little son! how is he?
This will probably reach you by Xmas & I hope you will have a peaceful & cheerful one; think of me.
Good- bye my dear much love to you all from
Your affectionate husband
William
20 Dec 1915 56th Field Coy
R.E.
3rd Division
B.E.F.
My dear Barbara
After writing you a long letter I got yours last night telling me about the £ 30; what a real kindness that is and I am so relieved to know that you are all right again for a bit. It has been a nightmare to me imagining your having to struggle this Xmas to arrange affairs.
Now you must get yourself all necessary clothing; thick warm stockings, boots, and warm blouses, not those pretty little muslin things; they will look quite as nice and keep you warm.
I got your parcel and it is very nice indeed and thank you so much for your thought, but really I do not require these things, though I am glad to be able to put my share into the general pool at the mess; I mean I do not want you to spend another penny on food for me; if I require anything I promise you I'll let you know; in fact I will tell you that a tin or two of curry powder would be welcome. Tobacco I have enough of to last me two or three months; cigarettes I hardly smoke & so do not send me any, get yourself & the children what you require I shall be much happier. I hate having things & and knowing that the money could have been spent on you all. In fact in this kind of water-rat existence the fewer things one has the less trouble one has.
I am asking Rachael to get me a small lamp with glass chimneys; I don't know what they are called but I am going to find out; you pump air into them and they give a brilliant white light; the evenings are so long and reading by candlelight is beastly, in fact in this dug -out artificial light is necessary all the time; our O. C. has one at the billet. Also I shall ask her to send me a small cooker & saucepan solid fuel to be used with it; I think they are called "Tommy's friends" but I am not sure. If you have not cashed the £5 cheque on Cox's destroy it & I will send you another as I am very much afraid I have overdrawn; also do not send the hot water bottle, as hot water is very hard to get and then only a cupful.
I go back to billets tomorrow & I am only glad for the opportunity of a bath (of sorts) as here one is not bothered in any way.
The Division are issuing special Xmas cards & I will try and get the children one each which should be kept for them as souvenirs; the drawing is done by Heath Robinson.
The bombardment is continuing spasmodically & today the Huns seem to be trying to search out our dug-outs, but so far have only injured one man.
22nd Well I returned last evening and after a good nights rest till 9 this morning had my hair cut (the first for three weeks) and then a hot bath & clean clothes; I had not had a bath for ten days and had not had my clothes off for a week. I now feel myself again but am not in love with either the work or the conditions. Even here in billets the quarters are a little tin partition at the back of the Mess Hut and through which all the winds of heaven blow. The 2nd in command, a boy of 21, has a comfortable hut to himself with a stove & two servants; nor does he go out to the trenches; it is a topsy turvy arrangement. However it is only for a short period thank Heaven and afterwards I shall be glad I did the whole business.
I shall have a week here in billets and then out again to the dug-out & the shells.
I sent the Division Xmas cards to the children today & hope they get them in time for Xmas day. I have had a beastly cold the whole time in the dug-out, congested throat, chest etc. but today after the rest feel another man.
There has been no letter from anybody for three days, so we think there must some hitch in the postal arrangements
I hear young Gerald has been home for his leave, but must have returned by now; I wonder if he is fed up.
It was very funny about Pat & the blue trousers, dear little soul.
Well my dear do write me a nice long letter again soon; I am so glad to get them. Much love to you all from
Ever yours
William
2nd Jan 1916 56th. Field Coy R.E.
B.E.F. France
My dear Barbara
I have not written to you for some days as I have never seemed to have time to sit down quietly & do so; I have only had a quarter of an hour at a time as it were and dashed off a few letter cards to Mother, R,& G. I got your parcel my dear & everything in it was excellent; the hot water bottle is a perfect godsend as I manage to get hot water now at about 9.30 p.m.& and I can get to sleep soon after instead of having to wait as before till my feet thawed.
By the way in the future the Division must not be put on our letters, so always write as above.
I have two more days in the dug-out when I return for a week to Hdqrs & a bath & rest.
The work here is extremely strenuous; I am out in the trenches for 6 to 8 hours every day and very often from 2 to 4 hours every night making reconnaissances for new trenches.
So you are having a hard time of it with the children; my poor girl! I know what it is with Ruth there, the boys get along all right. She is the "eternal feminine" which upsets everything. You will be glad when she can get back to school.
This is a pretty expensive mess I am in; I had to pay 125 francs in advance and then the charge is 3 francs a day which works to 6 francs really as we four section commanders are only a fortnight each month in Hdqrs. When I get home I shall move Heaven & Earth to get something else; this is not good enough doing the work of a boy of 20 at my age and you all having to pinch & scrape as you do. They must either give me something more or less on a par with my standing in normal times or let me go. Six months of this is enough for a man of my age to have done.
These Regulars simply exploit us and the R.E.'s are noted for it. In the Infantry or Cavalry they cannot do it as the Temporary people so greatly outnumber the Regulars & besides they have their own organisations. Had I joined the Cavalry it is quite possible I might have been a Major by now & in the Infantry certainly. The thing is topsy turvy & I am going to put an end to it as far as I am concerned. After all I gave three years of my youth to the Service of my country in the S.A. war & I am entitled to a certain amount of consideration now. To see a boy sitting quietly at Hdqrs doing nothing but riding about the country & living in comfort while we older men are here in the trenches doing the work they should be doing, makes me somewhat annoyed. Most of them would not be able to do the work of an apprentice engineer have certainly not had any sort of scientific or mathematical training; the older Regular R.E.'s are very little better, their professional education having stopped short when they left Chatham and one only has to talk of engineering works when one can notice their effort to understand. They are the frauds of the Army and how they have kept up the deception so long is an index of the general low standard of scientific knowledge. I used to hear the same thing in India from civilian members of the P.W.D. but thought it might have been due to jealousy, and later again in South Africa from engineers who had served with them, but now I see for myself.
So the Xmas tree went off all right & I suppose the babes hardly slept all night for excitement.
By the way I had forwarded from the Argentine Club a packet of Xmas cards from Miss Geeks & a note asking me to send them to the children; I sent them today.
I hope to have a nice long letter from you soon telling me all about everything; where is Erskine? did you post my letter on to him?
John's letter was very interesting; I wrote him some days before; in fact I wrote about 15 letters last week at Hdqrs, including to the Girdlestones, Webb etc.etc, so presently I ought to get a crop of replies. By the way Miss Geeks said she was working for an exam as "Lady Dispenser"& hoped if she passed next month to get a job in one of the hospitals abroad. I am afraid the doctors would flurry her in the midst of a delicate prescription.
Have you heard again from Mrs Griffiths? what are the Newtons doing?
I enquired about the Lincolns & it is quite close to where they were badly cut up at the beginning of the war; they wandered into the Hun trenches & a large number were killed & and their bodies buried by the Huns probably all in one big grave, so young Peddie may have been one of these. I wish I had tried for the Indian Sappers & Miners, they have gone to another part of the world where I am sure it will be more interesting than here; in fact this may be a solution when I next get home, or garrison duty in India.
Are you having it very cold at L'hampton? Is Ruth as keen as ever on her lessons?& Dicky growing big & strong & the wee Patrick as broad as he is long. Hug them well for me & kiss them.
Well good-bye for the present my dear & many thanks for the parcel but you must spend no more money on these things. We are just going to have the cake for lunch.
Love from
William
4th Jan 1916 No 1 56th Field Coy R.E.
B.E.F.
France
My dear Barbara
I received your letter of the 30th Dec last night. Your playful epithet to me of "wretch" sounded funny. I hope you will take care of yourself and not overdo it & I am glad you are getting a woman in to do the rough work & so let Ada relieve you of the children occasionally. How is she doing now? as well as ever; if so you are indeed lucky.
I have been feeling very seedy the last two days, chill & strain I suppose & last night I had some fever. Today all my bones ache and directly I get back to Hdqrs I am going to bed & shall ask for a doctor. I have to walk four miles unfortunately across fields & ditches tonight after being relieved & I am dreading it as I feel hardly able to put one foot in front of the other. Poor little Pat, I can well understand his feeling lonely & shy, now Ruth would be in her element and would begin bossing the other children at once. How does Dickie feel when he goes out alone; also shy I expect. Its the sex coming out with Ruth.
I had along letter from Pedro & he tells me he heard from you; I guarantee you could not understand his reply; his Spanish has now reverted to Italian almost with a Spanish word here & there. He says he will get a Spanish steamer from Barcelona as no Italian steamers are sailing. How I should to be serving with the Italians & if only I knew Italian as I do Spanish I would write off and offer my services through the W.O. This terrible monotony mud & wire make life a perfect misery. If only the rumour were true that the B,E,F, were going to clear out & let the French & Belgians look after this front, I should think half a million men would throw their hats in the air with joy, except of course the lucky ones at the "Back of the Front".
I have seen a good deal these last few days & one night had a machine gun play on a trench I was standing in with another officer; a low trench up to our shoulders. You can almost see the imprint of our bodies on the boarded floor of the trench which we simply plastered with ourselves. It was very nasty.
I suppose if one stays here long enough one is bound to get hit, its a mathematical certainty.
Do not send me that rotten paper "Land & Water", its not worth reading the vapourings of journalists. Punch & Truth and a magazine or review if you get them yourself but not on purpose for me.
6th Jan I had to leave off at 4pm on Tuesday as the men were parading to march off to Hdqrs. The walk across those fields, up & down steep banks & stumbling & cursing all the way in the dark & pelting rain for 4 miles & then another mile over atrocious cobbles quite finished me up & I arrived with a high temperature & went off to bed. The doctor made me stay in bed all yesterday & dosed me with aspirin & I got up today at midday feeling pretty weak & tottery; however I am all right to start work tomorrow in the camp.
I hope there will be a letter from you tonight. By the way my dear I am wondering whether our letters get to each other & so I propose numbering all of them, as we used to do when we were first acquainted. Will you keep a note of the numbers received & I will do the same. This will be No 1 of the 4th Jan 1916.
Did you do anything for the New Year? We had several casualties last week from shells in the trenches and it was pretty beastly.
I am still anxiously awaiting the photos of the Trio; do have this done soon. It is said we go back for a months rest in a months time, in which case I shall have only twice more in the trenches before then, and after? we shall see. My leave will be due early in March.
I have hardly heard from Rachael since I have been out here, only about twice or three times; I cannot understand it.
Well goodbye old girl much love to you & the Babes from
William
P.S.
How is Pat in regard to the adenoids taken out?
No 2
Same old place
Sunday 9-1-16
My dearest Barbara
I received your letter of the fifth yesterday afternoon and was very glad to see your writing. Why should you tell me not to write unless I feel inclined or have spare time? had my last letter a forced sort of appearance? my dearest it gives me a great deal of pleasure to write to you, it is the next best thing to sitting down and having a talk with you. Well I am afraid that I have to confess that at 38 I have not the constitution I had at 25 & at all events the enthusiasm to stand this bitter cold & wet. I have been seedy for some days now and take aspirin every night to enable me to sleep & take the dull ache out of my bones. I must have got a very bad chill as it is only today that I am beginning to feel a little myself again and day after tomorrow back I go to that dug-out where the walls made of bags of moist earth give forth their worst "vaporous exhalations" day & night and the roar and shocks of the guns never give one peace. Thank Heaven! only a month more and then the whole Division goes on "Rest" to some place at the back out of the sound of guns, & there we are all supposed to get our nerves bodies & kit in good repair ready for another three months at the "Front". My leave will be due soon after or just before the end of the Rest and you will see my war-worn countenance early in March. How I hope it won't be blowing gales in England; the wind here is the bitter part of the cold and seems to go through one; that and the all pervading damp.
I did not think that Mrs W, a woman who had lived in the Colonies, could be so narrow- minded; if she were right there would always be war as the church going people are a very small minority of the population of the British Isles. However I hope you will go whenever you feel inclined and think it does you good; I am sure when one feels like that , it does do one good.
I think I was fairly safe on the occasion of your dream about my calling you, as I was back here in billets when it happened; though this last week we had some narrow squeaks; I told you about the machine gun.
I had a long letter from Oliver which I enclose; he says as you will see that Lawton paid them a visit; funny thing I had written to Lawton only a week or two ago asking him for Linggi's address.
So the babes are evidently liked by the various Mothers, well they are being properly brought up which is more than the usual modern child is, spoilt little monkeys that most of them are.
Did you see Hughes' photo in the "Roll of Honour" in the Illust.London News?, poor fellow! how sorry I do feel about him.
It has been a fine day today for a change but oh! so cold; we huddle over the fire all day as outside there is nothing but an ocean of mud everywhere. I had a letter from Rachael in which she said how sorry she was not having been able to run over & see you on the occasion of her visit to Brighton.
How is your sister getting on in Spain? have they met Thornton yet?
We are not supposedto mention the Division as it gives away a link in the chain which enables the enemy in case they get to know it, to trace the number of troops opposed to them in any one place. There are probably spies in our own Post Office & this cannot be altogether avoided, so it is best to take precautions.
I suppose Grace is with you now , as she said in her letter she was going down at once & then returning to Town to do some work or other.
I am just going to have a bath ,having had my hair cut, the first for a fortnight; my dear in this active service life one has to start with a new base as it were; the old standards have to be put on a shelf for better times. I am a terrible looking object (or was half an hour ago), with my hair well down over my collar and ears; I never dream of getting into pyjamas ; in the first place it is forbidden & secondly to undress in the open air as it were because all the winds of Heaven blow through our cubicles, would simply kill one right off. The only happy hours we know are those in bed when we are warm & when our present circumstances are not recollected. However I am not really unhappy and directly I am fit again I shall be all right. The other two subalterns who joined just before me (T.Cs) are also seedy and one has "nerves"; this I cannot understand & do hope I shall never get; it must be horrible. My O.C. is a first rate chap & I like him, but he is a semi invalid having been in West Africa & I am afraid will not last long.
When does Term start again for Mistress Ruth? how funny it seems that she should be going to school, & very soon it will be Dicky.
Funny thing I went into the Officers Mess of our infantry battalion the other night & saw a Gunner officer whose face seemed familiar, but as it was a common enough type of face I just put the idea out of my mind, when suddenly I heard him call maize "maiz" & then correct himself; then I knew who it was at once though I had never spoken to the man before; Chantrill a brother of the Girdlestones' friends, curious! wasn't it ?. By the way have you ever been away to Town since I left?. I am afraid you must find it lonely, my dear, and I am so glad you like Mrs Monroe; what about the other woman you said you liked very much at first; I don't remember the name , has she also got feet of clay? By the way don't forget the numbering of your letters. This is No 2. Do you know that I have at last begun my resolve to keep off all alcoholic liquor till the end of the war & for four weeks now have not touched anything. I think I probably suffer a little from sleeplessness due to this, but otherwise notice no difference. I started it chiefly for the reason that it was the only way of getting out of drinking more than I required and also because it is arranged that all drink taken should be shared by those who drink, and as in any case I took very little I am afraid I could not have afforded to pay for more. Did you get yourself the warm things you required and the boots? By the way I am a bit overdrawn & I hope you will not require any extra until the end of this month, when I will send the school fees & as much as I can spare after paying the mess bills. I had to pay £5 in advance to start the fund, as the fund had dwindled to very little. Do you do much reading nowadays & if so what have you read?. I liked Beltane the Smith very much; it was most enthralling
You have never told me whether you got back my breeches from the dyers; & have you had the trunks & the fur coat sent to the House to save storage fees?
Did you fix up your National Registration?. You must not mind me telling you old girl, but you have so much to do you may forget. Well good-bye for a bit with much love to you and the babes.
Your affectionate husband
William
P.S. How is your father?
No 3 Same old hole
15th Jan. 1916
My dear Barbara
Ted has asked me to get 48 hours leave and run home to sign that transfer of the Mendoza property, and I have today applied for leave, so that if it is granted, I shall arrive at Victoria at 2.30 on Thursday afternoon. As I should to leave again on Friday, by about midday probably, I am afraid that I shall have to deny myself the happiness of seeing the babes, but you could, if you wished, run up to Town and we could have a few hours together.
I shall probably know on Monday and if I can get home I'll wire Ted, asking him to advise you & then you could meet me at Victoria on arrival of the train, if you are able to run up. I have felt much better on the whole this week, though a bit "rheumaticky" the first few days out here. There is a good deal of night work to do now, the moon being bright and favourable for work and we hardly do anything during the day; three more days here & then back to billets, though the O.C. tells me there is as much to do there as here.
These dear old Generals who have as much idea of practical methods of work as they have of Chinese metaphysics, pile up work on work & then go back to their comfortable quarters thinking themselves wonderful fellows; the consequence is they get about half as much real work done as they might and only a fourth of that of practical value. If in peace time to liken a man to an old general is to mean an amiable old fellow of no practical value to his fellows, it takes a war to shew how true this generalisation is. I am irresistibly reminded of my boyhood's conception of pantomime when I see a General strutting about with his obsequious staff in attendance a yard or two behind always; I suppose when a Royal Prince appears the staff fall behind & the General becomes as the staff are to him - a mixture of confidant & lackey. We English will never take a war seriously until we have to defend our own hills & valleys the enemy having landed and then how soon would all this frippery, gold lace, & hunting for favours go by the board; the real men would be pushed as leaders and war would be truly war. I cannot feel that anything is serious when so much importance is given to matters which cannot possibly have any bearing on the war. I am sure there has been nothing of this with old King Peter of Servia or with King Nicholas of Montenegro.
How I wish I could get out of this stupid routine, where all my experience & all that I have learnt is used for the purpose of draining ditches, putting stakes to hold up the sides,and then filling sandbags & placing them along the edge. That is the sum total of my work & it is for this that we gave up what we did. Muddle muddle everywhere and nobody in his right place. If it were not for our men, splendid fellows that they are in spite of the way they are wasted, the Huns would have eaten us up long ago.
The Huns must be feeling that their game is up; they never do anything except in retaliation; they are always content to let well alone, but our guns give them no rest night or day & incidentally give us no rest either. Between the guns and the signal service, which is the escape valve for the ideas which develop in the brains of the "Higher Authorities" after dinner we get no sleep; at two in the morning I am awakened by a telegram about some new method of catching rats in the trenches or of preventing frostbite or of some sham attack we are going to make perhaps 5 miles to my right or to my left; in fact telegrams about anything & everything except the things that matter, and on those there is a dignified silence.
However I suppose it will all end some day and then when one no longer has to suffer, we will have unending subjects for laughter; never will it be necessary to be melancholy again, one will only have to think of the incidents of this war.
I am rather expecting a letter from you tonight, and I am still anxiously looking forward to Photos of the babes. Hug them all for me, how I wish I could see them. And with much love to you my dear
I remain
Your affectionate husband
William
21st. Jan. 1916 56th Field Coy R.E
B.E.F. France
No 4
My dear Barbara
I have just received your letter of the 17th.inst. telling me of your father's death. I am very sorry to hear it because although one expects this, when the wrench actually does come one feels it. I don't think you need reproach yourself very much for not writing, as it must be some time now since letters conveyed anything to him, and I am sure death meant nothing to him except a happy release, at his age life is only a semi-concious sort of stupor. As regards mourning, nobody wears it now , if they did the whole of England would be in black; you are always quietly dressed; besides the expense is not justifiable, the needs of the living are more important than this fictitious show of respect for the dead. I am sure I would not wish you to wear it for me.To me it seems such a stupid thing to wear, as it were a placard saying look! I have lost a relative by death.
I have been in the dug-out for ten days this time and return to billets tomorrow; this has bee, if possible, by wire when I know for certain. Somehow I am not so overjoyed at going away now as I should have been in another month's time though this is a beastly life and everybody loathes it and fervently prays for a "soft' wound to get away from it.
I have a feeling I shall not return here and so I shall take all my kit with me. The Division goes on "Rest" a few days after I am due back and so it would be rather pleasant being with them. However we will leave it to the Fates.
What was the matter with Dick that he could not go to the "Party"; was he very sick about it?; I am so looking forward to seeing them in their "Jack Tar" suits, how funny Pat must look with his little square figure. Ruth has been at school two days now which must be a great relief to you.
If I leave here on the 26th morning I shall be in Victoria the same afternoon and you could come up the same day or the next morning as convenient. I shall have to stay in London the next day to sign these papers and also as I intend going to the W.O. and possibly Friday also. We will go to a quiet hotel.
I have had some exciting times lately as practically all our work is done at nights now the Hun having become too aggressive during the day, shelling our working parties wherever they started.. I have had to reconnoitre the ground leading up to one of our fire trenches with the object of building a new communication trench to it, and I was told that there were some ten of our men killed some time ago lying in the open, and four Frenchmen with their Chasseur helmets at their heads; so I took a corporal and a couple of men to bury them; they were practically only skeletons though their uniforms and accoutrements were sound enough; it was a bright moonlight night and as the Hun lines are on a ridge only a hundred & fifty or two hundred yards away they evidently saw us & before we knew where we were they opened up a machine gun on us, so we threw ourselves down and not a soul of us was touched but it was a narrow squeak. After a bit we crawled away & now are going to wait for a darker night to bury these poor fellows; they must have been killed when the grass was very long, and so they were left, as it is a dangerous part and the whole of it overlooked by the Huns. The Artillery fire is constant and gives us no rest, night and day they go at it hammer & tongs; one does get fed up with the noise and the shocks.
I received the Punch, Bystander, & Land and Water you sent me the other day & thanks very much for them.
Yes I knew Burke the Asst. Chief Engineer and liked him very much; he was assistant to Lavis the American Chief Engineer of that crowd. I believe Burke used to be in India at one time before he went to the States; where is he now? is he serving?. So Brown's sister is married to Mrs Burke's cousin. I believe the Burkes had a couple of youngsters. I had a long letter from Thornton the other day, & he said that Cabrett was much interested to see me at the centre of that group taken at Chatham. Its funny that Wiley has never written & so I have asked Clarke to send me all particulars about the house. I think I should like to get a decent job in B.A. but I am afraid that they are few and far between there . Liddle of the Pacific wrote me the other day & I have a good mind to enquire from him regarding Mendoza & Burrows; I wonder if he (Burrows) is still there. I saw in the paper that the widow of Silas G Burrows of Hartfield Conn. U.S.A. had just died in Switzerland, it must be Burrow"s mother, aged 78 I think
This time up in the dug-out I am with another battalion of Infantry as the infantry relieve each other the same day that we do & as I have stayed on I am meeting the new crowd. They do not seem as efficient as the other lot , the C.O. being a nervous and excitable sort of man (an ex regular)whereas the other C.O. a civilian is a calm quiet fellow who knows his job & worries nobody. It is extraordinary the difference in the men of various battalions varying in accordance with the character of the C.O. and there are some of the most utterly useless inefficients in command of some battalions that could be found anywhere. One is a low grade type of man who is always putting himself on the stage as it were and acting & his battalion is a byword; another battalion is simply splendid from top to bottom, and nearly all short service men not regulars. Really the regulars are not shewing up in this war & now you never see them except at the back on the staff, which is notoriously the weak point of the B.E.F. I really believe it would be much better if we were either taken away from France to fight on the Servian front or the whole lot of us put under the French Higher Command. How slowly we English act and yet there is a slow improvement, a gradual sifting out of the non- efficients, but it is so slow.
Of course you will not send those photos now of the children, it is hardly worth while before I go home. I suppose you have not done anything further about the house; if you like your house it seems a pity to change. Anyway we'll have a good talk about it. Oh! how I long for a good soak in boiling water and really clean clothes; this farmhouse washing leaves me in doubt as to whether are the clean ones or the ones left off.
Well good-bye old girl cheer up; things will soon begin to move now that I have had my experience.
Much love to you & the babes from
William
Wednesday 17th Feb. 1916 56th Field Coy
B.E.F. France
My dear Barbara
I have just got your letter of the 11th, six days on the way; its too bad to delay the post in this way.
Its' good news to hear of your success as regards the house, that is, if your landlord will accept the two weeks notice; in any case I expect he will make you pay a months rent or rather an extra fortnights; these London business men are sharks and I think at times it would almost be a good thing were the Huns to get in and squeeze them dry.
We stay out here and fight their battles and get poorer every day while they make more money than ever from the war and live in security. I think there is much method in the good old Paraguayan system of periodical revolutions which levels things up every now and again when they get too unequal. I suppose you took a lot of trouble looking round for a house and so deserve to get one, whereas these other good ladies in the same position as yourself sit still and expect things to be done for them.
It is exceedingly nice here being '"on rest"; to live cleanly and decently , to sleep comfortably in bed, to be free of those constant alarms and noises, to have never a thought of a shell or rifle bullet, these are all Heaven after the front line. Of course we work hard; this is our programme: 7.45 to 8.15 drill, 8.15 to 9.15 breakfast, 9.15 to 9.45 drill, 10 to 12 Route march, 12.15 to 1.15 lectures to the men and inspections , 1.15 to 2.00 drill. Then the rest of the day is ones own to ride over the country or walk or to go anywhere or do anything. I now have a stove in my room and it is most comfortable; I only wish wives were allowed to come to France & I would get you over for these three weeks on a visit. Grace could go & look after the "babes" for that time. By the way has she been down to see you yet?, if she goes to the W.O. to take up this job she is keen on she will not be able to do so. Rachel tells me that she caught a bad cold in Town; mine got well almost immediately I arrived; I expect my voyage experience cured me.
We had a terrible fright to-day as we were ordered to get ready to move back to the Front at a moments notice and we packed up & got ready when the order came through cancelling it; we were sick as it is only now that we are beginning to feel the benefit of the change & the rest after those appalling trenches; the thought of that monotony again ahead makes me simply sick, but I drive away all thoughts of that and think that " sufficient for the day is the evil thereof"; as a matter of fact once we are there and doing the work the time simply flies and we soon adapt ourselves; the human animal is a curious being.
My O.C. Capt Francis knows Capt McQueen quite well; he is somewhere near us I think. Do not send me the Bystander as one of the Mess gets it; I think I should I should like a magazine occasionally; Cornhill or any other you like yourself.
By the way do you mind looking amongst those books I left behind and you will find a small refill for a pocket book containing notes (amongst other things) on pontoons explosives; it is a tiny thing & I think I left it amongst the books though it may be somewhere else. Also send me one of those copies of Mr Stuart's when he recommended me for the E.R. railways also a copy of Hessen---"s letter on my leaving the Paraguay Ry. to come to the war.
How is Ruth progressing at school?. I enjoy looking at the photo of the three of them; it stands together with yours on this table facing me. Has Pat said any more curious things lately? and dear little Dick, how is he?. Did you give that present to Ada for me? do tell me and ease my mind. I feel horrid not having given her anything, but i really could not offer her money; so if you have not done so , just buy something like a good girl & tell her you forgot to do it in London when I asked you to.
Francis came bask from leave yesterday morning looking as usual and he continues as usual; he is a merry chap, but I wish they would give him a job at home as I am afraid he will never stand a bad spell in the trenches; he looks so ill at times poor fellow. It has been raining & blowing a gale for the last 5 days here, though the rain stops a bit in the afternoons, and consequently the work outside is a bit unpleasant, but still we have our rooms to come to and change & sit down in, not like those beastly dug-outs. If only we had an advance and had some open fighting instead of this burrowing like rats. I look forward to being in one advance & then if I come through all right I think I shall be justified at my age & with four dependants on me, in asking to be transferred to a Works Company ; after all a Field Coy is meant for youngsters & my experience is thrown away in doing work any of these young subalterns a year or two from Woolwich can do quite as well & with a great deal more energy. I think however the men prefer being with an older officer, at least the class of men we have now in the Army, men of intelligence & education and drawn from a class a good deal superior to the old type of soldier.
Erskine is a fortunate fellow getting an Adjutancy he certainly has the knack of looking after himself, and I suppose it is a great advantage..I am afraid my dear you made a bad bargain when you married me; I have not enough push, nor can I shove myself forward & so you have to squeeze & scrape. Perhaps we shall come through the war & then things will be normal again. But "quien sabe".
The Cure's housekeeper jabbers at me every day & I am slowly beginning to understand her; I can make her understand all right in my mixture of Spanish-French; she has taught my servant to make excellent coffee & I have a large quantity brought to my bed in the morning.
Well good-bye old girl; kiss the babes for me and don't let them forget me & love to yourself.
Yours affectionately
William
56th Field Coy R.E.
B.E.F. France
21st Feb.1916
My dear Barbara
I am afraid I have not been able to write you these last few days ; here we are at the Front again more or less at the same place as before, but of course our old billets are occupied by others and we are sharing a camp with another Field Coy, the men in tents and ourselves two in a cubicle adjoining the Mess all crowded together like sardines; very pleasant indeed ;" je ne pense pas". We had ten days rest instead of the month we had hoped for and we moved at four hours notice; it was not pleasant leaving our palatial billets and the healthy open air life we were having; I was thoroughly enjoying the drill and the route marches and the afternoon rides. However "c'est la guerre". The Abbe in whose house I was billeted blessed me before I left and told me to be of "bon courage"; he was a nice old chap. Of course my dear you will understand that troops are not called back from "rest" in this way without some urgent reason, so I expect we shall have a rough time for the next fortnight after which I hope we shall return and have another "Rest". It was snowing all last night and today the ground is covered with two inches of snow. We had a terrible time getting here, first a march of ten miles, then four hours in a train then another six miles march; no food from breakfast till one o/clock in the morning when we reached here; of course we had to load and unload all our horses and wagons on & from the train each operation taking a couple of hours. How dead tired & cold we were when we arrived & hungry & how delighted to see a meal laid out for us by the other Field Coy. It was most good of them and we were very grateful as we expected to have to wait an hour or two till our cook made us something. All today the cannonading has been tremendous, like the continual roar of thunder
I have not heard from you for about a week though I received "Truth" from you. I hope you have fixed up things about the house and that you are well and happy. Do tell me all about yourself and the babes, it does cheer me up so to hear from you and about you all. It is not particularly cheery here; there is only one man I like really & he is ill and may leave us any time; the others are all pleasant fellows, but two are only boys one is a half Belgian (reminds me of Risso) and he gets on all our nerves & and the other well you know his trouble, he is almost impossible nowadays & I think cannot last long; if he can, well it is a wonderful system that is so elastic. I think after a good offensive when I have had a really bad time with the Company I shall put in for the Indian Sappers & Miners; it is everywhere said that they are very short of officers with a knowledge of India. I should have to go to Egypt, Salonika, or Mesopatania , but I think it would be more interesting in either of those expeditions, though on the other hand the winter is now approaching its end and the summer here would be better than the summer there.
I had a long letter from Darch & I enclose it for you; I do not think we shall ever go back to Paraguay, as I doubt that they will ever pay what they did before and it would not be worth while going there for less than $800 at least. That and house rent yes but they would expect me to go to Campbell"s house as Clarke has gone to Gallego's house. I should prefer to go to the Argentine again as then my ten years there might count towards the Railway Pension Act. However "sufficient unto the day" must be ones motto. I shall keep in touch with Liddel from whom I heard the other day; it would be curious to go back to Mendoza wouldn't it
I think I told you we were having a very strenuous time when in "Rest"; it was continuous drilling and route marching till 1 o/clock from 7.45 in the morning and then an hours lecture to the men; the afternoons were free & if it were fine we rode. The countryside was delightful. I never had the opportunity of going to G.H.Q. and looking up W. so please tell Mrs W. if she ever inquires. I suppose I should have missed him as he was on leave.
Did Monroe go back to the Hospital ship? When did you say Ruth's holidays start? Isn't it Pat's birthday next month? You remember these things better than I do.
You will laugh at Darch's remark about the Morgan Wylie menage; I never thought little Mrs W. was bad tempered,did you?. What a specimen H----- is really. I should think it an unmitigated calamity to go under him again although I would not let that stand in my way if other conditions were all right, as I should never let him worry me again. After all one nearly always has to put up with somebody. Mr S. has not written and I shall not bother about him again.
Have you seen anything of Rachel lately? I have had no letters from anybody for nearly a week & I am wondering what has happened. I had a couple of parcels from Fortnum & Masons sent me by Rachel & they were very nice though I think it is an awful waste of money giving them. If ever you think of it you might write to Steward Opticians in the Strand & tell them to send me a battery for the Orilux lamp; they cost 1/6 & postage extra. Are Cox's sending you your money regularly?.
Well write soon old girl & kiss the "batchas" for me
Love from William
Hospital train en route
to Boulogne
3rd March 1916
My dear Barbara
Just a short letter to let you know that I am only slightly wounded in case you see my name in the "wounded" list in the paper before you get my field postcard that I sent you this morning from the casualty clearing station at Poperinghe.
I have a bit of shell in my right upper arm and so far feel very little inconvenience though it will probably be more painful later; the bit is still in my arm & probably they will leave it there. Well my dear we had a terrible time of it though the operations were entirely successful, and we gained the whole of the position we were requiring and it is estimated that we accounted for 2000 German casualties of which 300 were taken prisoners. We lost fairly heavily owing to the awful shellfire from the German heavy batteries. It was something indescribable, at all events by me. I am sure none of us ever thought we could live through it. I was completely buried three times and had tremendous showers of earth thrown on me and it was only in the evening when I was trying to get my section away from the position that I was wounded. It was a heavy high explosive shell about fifty yards away, and a splinter struck my arm; it felt like a blow from an iron bar and then a burn and that was all. I thought it was only a graze and expected to be all right after having it dressed, but they injected anti tetanus serum and have sent me down. I do not know how long I shall be in Hospital. Anyhow it is rumoured that the Division is again going on "rest". I do not suppose they will let me go home though I will try & get a week.
We went up to the position at 10.30 on Wednesday night & had to stand in trenches ankle deep in water & mud & even knee deep in parts till 4.30 the next morning when the attack started. At about 8.am. I had to go forward to the captured German trenches and build them up to face the opposite way, then the German bombardment started, and everybody many of whom have been through the whole war say that they have never known anything like it; a perfect deluge of heavies which make a crater 20 feet wide and 8 to 10 feet deep, and thousands of small shells; the crash and noise was deafening & this lasted two hours without a moments cessation, then we replied for a bit and then they again started and kept it up till evening when I had to relieve my section as we were all dead beat; we had been 20 hours standing & crouching in mud & water, under bombardment for 12 hours & without food except for a few biscuits. I was myself 30 hours without food, wet through to my knees & cold as ice before I was put to bed in the casualty clearing hospital. This train is full of wounded. I am still very weak & miserable; but getting better every hour we get away from those beastly guns.
I trust you are better yourself & if not that you will see the doctor again & get treated and the babes how I long to see you all again after all this experience & to know you are real & existent. This experience has simply been terrible & leaves one dazed.
We have heard that a new R.E. Railway Construction Company is being formed here & I am putting in an application for it.
Well I am getting tired & think I will stop for a bit.
Much love from
William
No 7 Stationary Hospital
Boulogne
12th March 1916
My dear Barbara
No letter came from you last evening so I am hoping there will be one tonight. I trust you are better and that the Doctor has been able to see what is the matter with you. I had a visitor this afternoon, Powell the Traffic man from Asuncion; you would never recognise him; he is enormously fat with rolls of chins and a big corporation; he has been here eight months as a Railway Transport officer, living on the fat of the land in comfort & cleanliness; in the summer he had glorious sea bathing & in the winter they seem to do themselves fairly well. However he must be a very useful man to them with his knowledge of railway traffic in contradistinction to the crowds of incompetents they have in these soft jobs. What a topsy turvy world it is; I am glad somehow I took the hard path & have seen the real thing, battle, murder & death and all the filth & hardship of the trenches, but I must confess I am now tired of it and would like a rest. I envied those young subalterns on the day of the attack going over the parapet with their men and fighting and my job seemed tame in comparison, waiting for the trench to be taken & then going forward with my men to build up the parapets & put out the wire; anyhow they had the excitement of battle whereas we had to work in cold blood with bullets & shells flying over us & round us
They (the young subalterns) seemed so excited as they came back every now & again & reported to the Colonel, with whom I was \011111111111111111111, how things were going, Once, one captain of about 24, reported that three fourths of his company were over and he believed casualties & that he had no other officers to send forward with more men to reinforce & continue the attack & I felt strangely tempted to offer my services, but I thought of you all & then again of my orders that my sappers were to be carefully held in reserve till the attack was over & the enemy trenches were taken, & then I had a fit of shyness, as I did not wish to appear heroic or anything of that sort & I might have been severely snubbed by the Colonel declining my services (you see the men were Highlanders & he would not like an Englishman come in) & so I sat still & said nothing; but you will believe me when I say that I was very unhappy over it all & that I wished I were as those gay young fellows coming in, one with his arm bound up another with a bandage on his head and another with his face bleeding.
My kit has not arrived yet and I feel so utterly miserable, as I simply cannot get out in these trench clothes, they are too conspicuously trench-like and today has been a glorious spring day. This morning I sneaked out with a Tommy's great coat and went & sat on the beach for an hour, there was nobody there then, but this afternoon the band played and the whole of Boulogne went in its best clothes and so I stayed in,-and saw Powell
Looking out of my bedroom window , the scene has been very gay, as all the people have passed by on their way to the band; I am afraid the people who please me least are our own officers, they seem so "got up" for the occasion and have such a "foppery" look in contrast to the quiet looking French officers & men; of course there are lots of quiet good fellows amongst ours but the great majority are these new officers drawn from all sorts of places, and there is no doubt they are slightly above themselves; never in their lives did they imagine that they could ever be more than they were & here they strut about in a ridiculous fashion. I feel sure the French see through them & feel a certain contempt for them. They don't even appear to notice them and pass them as if they were something they had to put up with for a time, & so it is not worth while worrying. It annoys me also to see staff & other officers (all with "embusque" jobs you may be sure) lolling back in Government motor cars & quite obviously out for joy rides. The French cannot but feel that we are not serious, and really I do not believe that we are as a nation yet. We have a long way to go before we win this war & then I believe it will be our Navy which will really decide matters. Certainly not this army unless great changes take place from the top downwards
This morning I saw lots of children playing on the beach & young mothers with them & I wondered if your beloved ones were doing the same. I wish I could have got home for even a week; I am sure it would have done me more good than staying here for a month.
So far I have not had any reply from the Ry. Construction people. So Portugal has joined in ; I wonder if Spain will; if so I shall try and get a job as an "officer de liaison"; it would be interesting whereas my job is as dull as ditchwater. When you are fit again you might send me my cigarette case, I think after all it would be very useful.
Well goodbye my dear, keep cheerful & carry out the doctors instructions carefully and you will soon be well again.
Much love to you & the babes from
William